Four Dads, One Corgi, No Qualifications...

As a vet, this presents certain logistical difficulties. As some of you may remember, last year, three other school dads and I made the questionable decision to build a homemade soapbox kart and race it down a hill in Essex. Against all available evidence and basic common sense, this apparently encouraged us!

So this year, the same group are going one better and entering the big daddy of soapbox events — the Red Bull Soapbox Race in London on the 30th June. This year we’re also using the event to raise awareness for Alzheimer’s, which is a cause close to all of our hearts. By the time you read this, I will hopefully have recovered from my karting injuries and been discharged from hospital ….

If you’ve never met Jorge, imagine a small brindle security guard with very short legs and the self-confidence of a nightclub bouncer. He is deeply suspicious of postmen, wheelie bins and anyone carrying a vacuum cleaner. The filming itself started reasonably smoothly. By this I mean nobody had fallen through the kart and the production company still appeared optimistic. Jorge, however, immediately interpreted the arrival of several strangers with cameras as either: A) a direct threat to national security or B) a personal celebrity appearance. Possibly both.

At one point he attempted to herd the sound engineer into the utility room. Shortly afterwards he stole a microphone wind muff and disappeared under a table with it like a tiny Welsh fox. The cameraman remained impressively calm throughout, despite spending most of the afternoon being aggressively supervised by a dog approximately the size of a loaf of bread.

What became very obvious very quickly is that animals are completely incapable of understanding the concept of “just act naturally.” The second you want a dog to behave normally, they transform into an absolute idiot. Dogs who usually ignore people suddenly leap six feet into the air. Cats become liquid and vanish into another dimension. Rabbits develop the survival instincts of Jason Bourne.

It did make me realise how often pet owners apologise to us in consult rooms: “Oh he’s never normally like this.” “He’s usually very calm.” “She never bites.” Five seconds later the same individual is attempting to climb the ceiling while producing noises normally associated with exorcisms.

The truth is that pets behave differently in unfamiliar environments or around unfamiliar people. It’s completely normal. Stress, excitement and overstimulation can dramatically change behaviour. That’s why we spend a lot of time in practice trying to make visits less intimidating — using treats, gentle handling and giving nervous pets time to settle. Fear-free handling has become a huge part of modern veterinary care because a calmer animal is not only happier, but also easier to examine properly. In fact, one of the most valuable things an owner can do is simply warn us in advance if their pet is nervous, reactive or prone to stress. We can adapt far more easily to an honest warning than to a surprise airborne Jack Russell.

As for the Soapbox Race itself, by the time this is published we will either have successfully piloted a giant corgi down a hill in London… or there will be a short educational safety video circulating online.

Either way, Jorge remains completely untroubled by the pressure of fame. Mainly because he still believes the entire event is fundamentally about him. And to be fair… he may not be entirely wrong.

If you would like to support the Alzheimer’s Association, you can do so by clicking here...